‘Oh no, what do I say next?’ (3 tips for more confident conversations)

'Hey, I'm Daniel.'

'John.'

'Nice to meet you.'

'You too.'

Oh crap what happens next?

'How was your day?'

'Busy, very busy. How about you?'

'Yeah good.'

*brief silence*

'What are you up to later?'

'I'll probably go home and make dinner.'

BOOM.

There it is! That's what you're after. Now you've got a hook.

A what?

The person mentioned they're going home to cook dinner. Time to explore.

'What's for dinner?'

'Do you cook often?'

'Do you prefer cooking for yourself or eating out?'

'Where are your favourite places to eat out?'

'What's your special cuisine?'

'Where did you pick that up from?'

The trick to better conversations is not always talking more. It's about listening better and getting the other person to talk more. And then you can keep it flowing. Soon they'll catch on and follow your lead.

Most of the time when you meet new people, you won't know much about them.

So you'll hold yourself back from asking a specific question and stick to the standard.

'How was your day?'

'Been busy?'

These are great to start. But to keep it going, you can use the hook technique.

And if the hook leads to a dead end. You can use the get out of jail free card.

'What are you currently obsessed with?'

There will be one of two responses.

‘Ohh I’ve never been asked that before.’

Or...

‘What do you mean by obsessed?’

Everyone is obsessed with something. Make it your mission to figure it out.

And here’s the thing. You can use this question as a double edge sword.

Ask yourself the question. If you find yourself with nothing to talk about. This is where you start.

You start with what you’re obsessed with. Not only interested in. The thing you were Googling at 12:17 am last night.

Still stuck?

Here’s the final key.

Don’t say anything. Embrace the silence.

Having confidence doesn’t always mean talking up a storm. Or listening to every word.

Silence is only awkward if you make it awkward.

Some of the most confident people I know are also the quietest in the room.

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