Who do you live for?
You may live for someone else, your spouse, your children. But ultimately life is single player.
We create memories with others but they’re locked in the black boxes of our mind.
We imagine what it would be like to walk in someone else’s shoes. Though no one really has the same size feet as us.
We’ll never get the chance to look through the eyes of someone else, not yet anyway.
Conversations, reading, watching videos, admiring paintings, all of these give us an insight in the life of someone else. It’s not nearly enough to understand how the mechanics of their mind work. What thoughts arise from moment to moment.
Even writing this, a post dedicated to writing about the workings of the individual mind, mine has wandered. There’s a cup on my table, my dogs are walking around the kitchen and a bird is singing outside. The breeze is cool but I feel warm.
We’re brought into the world alone. We will all leave the world alone. All of our memories gone. It’s eerie and liberating.
We spend time with others. Share countless joy. Together but seperate.
The actions I’ve done for others, have been for myself. I write for others to read but I enjoy writing. The feeling of people reading my words and gaining value brings me value.
I donate blood and I feel good. I’ve helped someone else who will likely never help me but they have. They’ve allowed me to feel good.
Every action I’ve taken, even those seemingly for others has been out of interest for my own gain. I want to work on great things. I want to feel important so I make others feel important. I need to be loved. I give love to get love.
I, I, I, me, me, me. That’s what my life is ultimately about. If I help people in the process, it’s because I’ve wanted to.
This post is narcissistic. All of them are.
If I’m not going to live for myself, who will do it for me?
I’m not going to live for you. No one is going to live for you.
Enjoy your time while you can. It’ll be game over soon. Be selfish.